When is the right time to talk about gender equality? Right now. And every single day until it becomes not worth talking about anymore because it has turned into a redundant idea and only perhaps as a historical study about the days when it was not a reality.
Who should talk about it? Everyone who feels it is inherently wrong that half the human population on Earth has, since the beginning of human history, been subjected to second-class citizenship and that we continue to exist in a world where this is taken as the natural order of things.
Who should we talk to about this? Therein lies the rub. Of course we cannot give up on talking to everyone who still remains unaware of and unmoved by the patent injustice that surrounds them but perhaps it is time to focus our energies on younger minds - those who are yet to be conditioned into believing that things are right the way they are and who may yet have hope for growing up to be adults who are treated fairly and know how to treat others fairly.
From personal experience of being someone who feels strongly about issues of gender justice and a mother of two young girls, it is sort of a life mission for me to make sure my children grow up knowing they can be whatever and whoever they choose to be without anyone or anything - and especially not their sex - standing in the way. Here is a set of lessons I have imparted to my kids, for like-minded parents, if you have ever thought about how to talk to your children about gender equality.
- The chocolate wrapper colored pink for girls and blue for boys has exactly the same chocolate inside but with different toys that someone decided is only fit for one or the other. Buy both if you need to - you will enjoy both chocolate and toy just the same but better still DON'T buy something that so blatantly differentiates between boys and girls in such a completely nonsensical manner.
- Boys can like Princess dolls just as much as girls do and girls may prefer the toolset to the baking set and both are just fine. There is no right and wrong about what you choose to play with.
- Superheroes are not always men and Heroines/Princesses are not always helpless. They are certainly not doing the right thing if they just wait around for someone to rescue them from their troubles. Nothing wrong with asking for help when you can't handle something on your own but that works just as much for boys as girls.
- The Princess and the Pea story? It is a bullshit story that means nothing and shows nothing. Why should a girl be lauded for simply being unable to adjust to circumstances and behaving in the most spoilt way possible? The Frog Prince story? A snobbish girl who goes back on her word and then changes her tune when she realizes the Frog is, in fact, a Prince. Just because a story (or an idea or a custom or cultural practice) is handed down through generations does not make it right.
- It is not okay to make fun of a friend or classmate because their underwear showed or because they forgot to close the bathroom door when they went in to pee, in a hurry (this especially applies to preschoolers). Do ask them WHY they think it is funny when someone has an emergency (which can happen to anyone) and especially if they think it is MORE funny when this happens to a female classmate.
- Haircuts (at that age) are about comfort first, style a far second and being boy or girl not at all. Having short hair does not make a girl a boy and vice versa.
- When grown-ups get married, it is because they want to be together not because it is natural or mandatory for a girl to get married when she reaches a certain age. Also, for a girl to get married DOES not mean she is going out of her own family or suddenly becomes a 'guest' in her own home.
- Cooking. laundry and changing light bulbs are life skills that EVERYONE needs to learn to do on their own. You don't HAVE to learn to cook because you are a girl - you need to because it will help you survive and stay healthy when you start living on your own. It is about self-reliance, first and foremost.
- Everyone cries when they are hurting. Girls and Boys. Men and Women. There is nothing wrong with saying and expressing how you feel.
- Nothing - absolutely nothing - can be explained or justified with the words 'because you are a girl' or 'because you are a boy.' (Unless you are discussing bodily changes during puberty.)
It is never too early to start talking to kids - boys as well as girls - about fairness and equality. It is the only way to empower them to speak up when they need to. Whether for themselves or others.
Who should talk about it? Everyone who feels it is inherently wrong that half the human population on Earth has, since the beginning of human history, been subjected to second-class citizenship and that we continue to exist in a world where this is taken as the natural order of things.
Who should we talk to about this? Therein lies the rub. Of course we cannot give up on talking to everyone who still remains unaware of and unmoved by the patent injustice that surrounds them but perhaps it is time to focus our energies on younger minds - those who are yet to be conditioned into believing that things are right the way they are and who may yet have hope for growing up to be adults who are treated fairly and know how to treat others fairly.
From personal experience of being someone who feels strongly about issues of gender justice and a mother of two young girls, it is sort of a life mission for me to make sure my children grow up knowing they can be whatever and whoever they choose to be without anyone or anything - and especially not their sex - standing in the way. Here is a set of lessons I have imparted to my kids, for like-minded parents, if you have ever thought about how to talk to your children about gender equality.
- The chocolate wrapper colored pink for girls and blue for boys has exactly the same chocolate inside but with different toys that someone decided is only fit for one or the other. Buy both if you need to - you will enjoy both chocolate and toy just the same but better still DON'T buy something that so blatantly differentiates between boys and girls in such a completely nonsensical manner.
- Superheroes are not always men and Heroines/Princesses are not always helpless. They are certainly not doing the right thing if they just wait around for someone to rescue them from their troubles. Nothing wrong with asking for help when you can't handle something on your own but that works just as much for boys as girls.
- The Princess and the Pea story? It is a bullshit story that means nothing and shows nothing. Why should a girl be lauded for simply being unable to adjust to circumstances and behaving in the most spoilt way possible? The Frog Prince story? A snobbish girl who goes back on her word and then changes her tune when she realizes the Frog is, in fact, a Prince. Just because a story (or an idea or a custom or cultural practice) is handed down through generations does not make it right.
- It is not okay to make fun of a friend or classmate because their underwear showed or because they forgot to close the bathroom door when they went in to pee, in a hurry (this especially applies to preschoolers). Do ask them WHY they think it is funny when someone has an emergency (which can happen to anyone) and especially if they think it is MORE funny when this happens to a female classmate.
- Haircuts (at that age) are about comfort first, style a far second and being boy or girl not at all. Having short hair does not make a girl a boy and vice versa.
- When grown-ups get married, it is because they want to be together not because it is natural or mandatory for a girl to get married when she reaches a certain age. Also, for a girl to get married DOES not mean she is going out of her own family or suddenly becomes a 'guest' in her own home.
- Cooking. laundry and changing light bulbs are life skills that EVERYONE needs to learn to do on their own. You don't HAVE to learn to cook because you are a girl - you need to because it will help you survive and stay healthy when you start living on your own. It is about self-reliance, first and foremost.
- Everyone cries when they are hurting. Girls and Boys. Men and Women. There is nothing wrong with saying and expressing how you feel.
- Nothing - absolutely nothing - can be explained or justified with the words 'because you are a girl' or 'because you are a boy.' (Unless you are discussing bodily changes during puberty.)
It is never too early to start talking to kids - boys as well as girls - about fairness and equality. It is the only way to empower them to speak up when they need to. Whether for themselves or others.
